School Has Started But Your Child Is Still Anxious? Here’s How You Can Support Them

The return to school after the summer break can be a jarring transition, not just for children but for parents too. While it is common to expect that children will settle in after the first few days, the reality is often more complicated. As someone who has worked in schools for many years, I have seen how children can initially appear to be adjusting well, only for emotional or behavioural challenges to surface later, once the “honeymoon phase” ends.

These struggles can seem to come out of nowhere. Parents often feel confused, but it’s important to recognise that starting a new school year-whether it’s a new grade, new teacher, new classmates, or even just a shift in dynamic with existing peers-can be a big adjustment. And while adults may quickly fall back into routine, children are still processing all the changes.

If your child seems unsettled even after school has started, here are some thoughtful ways to help them navigate this time:

1. Create Space for Conversations

Encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling. Often, children are more willing to open up during relaxed, low-pressure moments whilst being in the car, or walking together, or during bedtime (I know this is not ideal). If your child brings something up when you are busy, it’s okay to set a later time, just be sure to follow through so they feel heard and valued.

2. You Don’t Need to ‘Fix’ Everything

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen. Be curious, ask gentle questions, and avoid the temptation to downplay their concerns with phrases like “Don’t worry about it.” These responses, while well-meaning, can leave children feeling misunderstood or even ashamed of their feelings. Instead, normalise their emotions by acknowledging them and consider modelling this yourself by sharing how you have been feeling about the return to routine.

3. Avoid Leading Questions

Rather than asking specific questions like, “Are you nervous about X?” try open-ended prompts such as “How are you finding your classes?” or “What has been the best and hardest part of your day?” This gives your child the freedom to express what’s really on their mind, without being steered in a particular direction.

4. Support Social Connections

Recess and break times can feel overwhelming or isolating, especially if your child hasn’t yet found their footing socially. Help them build more than one friendship where possible, and encourage participation in group activities or clubs that match their interests. A strong peer connection can make a significant difference in how secure and included a child feels at school.

5. Communicate With the School Discreetly

If you have concerns, it’s important to share them with the school but do so privately, not in front of your child. Some children mask their struggles during the school day, and having teachers aware of what’s happening at home allows them to better support your child emotionally and socially.

6. Introduce a ‘Worry Box’ at Home

A simple yet effective tool is the ‘worry box’: a space where your child can write down or draw any concerns they may have. Set a regular time to check the box together and talk about any worries that still feel unresolved. Sometimes, the act of writing it down is enough to ease the anxiety. Over time, this routine can help children feel more in control of their emotions.

7. Share Daily Highlights and Lowlights

Build a daily habit of sharing both the positive and difficult moments from the day, perhaps during dinner or before bedtime. This not only encourages children to reflect on their experiences, but also creates an opportunity for open dialogue. When adults participate too, it helps normalise the idea that everyone faces challenges. For younger children especially, seeing adults talk openly about their own highs and lows can make it easier for them to do the same.

If, after trying these strategies, your child is still having a hard time adjusting, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. Getting support early can prevent deeper issues from developing and helps your child feel like they’re not facing things alone.