How to Know When Your Child Needs Psychological Support While Living Abroad
Living abroad can be an incredible adventure; full of growth, new experiences, and lasting memories. But from my years of working with families abroad, I’ve seen how it can also bring significant emotional challenges, especially for children trying to navigate life between cultures. The uncertainty of constantly adjusting to new environments, schools, and friends can be overwhelming. These are the experiences and challenges I’ve helped families navigate, and the following tips are the strategies I know have made a real difference for children adjusting to life overseas.
Many children growing up overseas – often called Third Culture Kids (TCKs) – live in a constant state of transition. They’re adjusting not only to new countries, schools, and languages, but also to shifting friendships and changing cultural norms. While some kids adapt with ease, others may feel overwhelmed, particularly those who are already more anxious or sensitive by nature.
From speaking with families I know how hard it can be to know whether your child is simply going through a phase of adjustment or if they may need more structured psychological support. And when you’re living in a country with limited services or unaffordable care, it can be difficult to know where to turn.
If you’re asking yourself, “Does my child need help and what kind?”, here are a few signs and strategies to guide you:
1. Notice Changes in Behaviour or Mood
Watch for patterns or shifts that last more than a couple of weeks. These may include:
- Withdrawing from friends or family
- Increased irritability, sadness, or mood swings
- Sleep troubles, appetite changes, or physical symptoms with no clear cause
- Difficulty concentrating, refusal to attend school, or a drop in academic interest
- Strong resistance to new experiences or social settings
Transitions can be hard, but sustained or worsening behaviours may indicate a need for more support.
2. Understand the Unique Stress of Third Culture Kids
Third Culture Kids often show incredible adaptability – but that doesn’t mean they aren’t deeply affected by constant change. Repeated goodbyes, loss of familiar routines, language barriers, and cultural shifts can build up over time.
For children who already experience anxiety, these layers of transition can leave them feeling constantly on edge. They may try to mask their discomfort to “stay strong,” but inside, they may feel lost or out of control.
Normalising these feelings and understanding the unique pressures of being a TCK can help you better support your child through their emotional ups and downs.
3. Give Children a Sense of Control
When everything around a child feels unfamiliar – new home, school, people, food – giving them some control over their daily life can provide reassurance and stability.
Here are some practical ways to offer that sense of choice:
- For younger children: Let them choose between two bedtime stories, decide whether to brush their teeth before or after putting on pyjamas, or pick their snack from a shelf you’ve stocked with approved options.
- For school-aged kids: Involve them in decorating their new room, ask what music they’d like during dinner prep, or let them choose whether Saturday should be a beach day or movie night.
- For teens: Encourage them to be part of conversations around their routines, extracurricular activities, or how they’d like to stay in touch with friends after a move. Offer options for how they’d prefer to express emotions – through journaling, music, conversation, or professional support.
These small moments communicate a powerful message: You have a voice. You’re not powerless. In times of uncertainty, that can make all the difference.
4. Create Regular Space for Connection
You don’t need to wait for a crisis to check in with your child. Make emotional conversations a normal part of family life.
One helpful strategy is using “highlights and lowlights” at dinnertime – inviting each family member to share one good thing and one hard thing about their day. It’s a simple but powerful way to encourage reflection and conversation without pressure.
This also creates a natural opportunity for parents to role model emotional openness. When you share your own challenges like feeling homesick, struggling with language barriers, or missing your support system it normalises those feelings for your children. It helps them understand that it’s okay to find things hard sometimes, and that even adults experience ups and downs when living abroad.
It’s also natural as a parent to want to fix things when your child is upset. But often, the most powerful thing you can do is simply respond with empathy. Let them know their feelings are valid, even if they’re hard to hear. Sometimes children worry that sharing difficult emotions will hurt or disappoint you, or that they’re criticising your choice to move. Reassure them that it’s okay to feel conflicted. Feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed doesn’t mean they’re ungrateful, it means they’re human.
By consistently creating space for connection and emotional safety, you give your child the tools to process their feelings instead of bottling them up.
5. Trust Your Instincts
You know your child better than anyone. If something feels off – even if you can’t put your finger on it – it’s okay to explore what kind of support might help.
A one-off consultation with a mental health professional can be a great starting point. Some offer brief parent consultations or emotional check-ins for children to help assess needs. If in-person services aren’t available locally, online counselling is an increasingly flexible and effective option, especially when the provider understands the TCK experience.
6. Support Starts with You, Too
When you’re holding a lot as a parent – adjusting to a new culture, navigating language or legal systems, missing your own support network it’s no surprise that you may feel stretched thin. And that emotional strain can affect how present you’re able to be for your child.
Supporting your own wellbeing is not selfish – it’s essential. Whether that means scheduling your own counselling session, finding a parent support group, or carving out moments of rest, your own steadiness helps ground the whole family.
